


The Ghost of You

by smile_it_will_get_better



Series: Ghost of you [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Dave & Klaus Hargreeves During Vietnam, Drug Use, Hurt Klaus Hargreeves, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, Klaus Hargreeves Needs A Hug, M/M, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-06 21:08:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17947151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smile_it_will_get_better/pseuds/smile_it_will_get_better
Summary: Klaus was getting the impression that someone up there didn’t like him that much.To recap his past few days, he had finally gotten free of rehab and then died momentarily. Then his dad died, which honestly isn’t that bad because adios motherfucker, but he had to deal with his siblings. Then after getting belittled and ignored and pushed aside he got kidnapped, which then led to torture. And no one came. Seriously, those assholes didn’t even notice! He knew he said that they wouldn’t, but that was just to egg those dicks that tortured him on since they were already getting annoyed at him. But they really didn’t notice, didn’t care. And so after that he finally got to escape thanks to that lovely cop, he hopes she made it out, and just when he thinks he’s out of danger, bam! He’s suddenly in fricking1968in the middle of thegod damn Vietnam warand his time machine thingy isn’t working....A glimpse into Klaus time in the war and his relationship with Dave





	1. Never coming home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I just watched the Umbrella Academy and man I am dead. Loved it. Dave and Klaus deserved better and more of a storyline so here I am because I am trash! There will be more hopefully and I hope this doesn't suck too much since I wrote it in like thirty minutes whoops.
> 
> Title and chapter name from the song Ghost of You by My Chemical Romance because I feel like the song relates them a bit and well because I feel like it.

Klaus was getting the impression that someone up there didn’t like him that much. 

To recap his past few days, he had finally gotten free of rehab and then died momentarily. Then his dad died, which honestly isn’t that bad because adios motherfucker, but he had to deal with his siblings. Then after getting belittled and ignored and pushed aside he got kidnapped, which then led to torture. And no one came. Seriously, those assholes didn’t even notice! He knew he said that they wouldn’t, but that was just to egg those dicks that tortured him on since they were already getting annoyed at him. But they really didn’t notice, didn’t care. And so after that he finally got to escape thanks to that lovely cop, he hopes she made it out, and just when he thinks he’s out of danger, bam! He’s suddenly in fricking _1968_ in the middle of the _god damn Vietnam war_ and his time machine thingy isn’t working. 

The gunfire was all outside, and he could still hear the sound of choppers outside, but for now he seemed safe on the bus. But it doesn’t stop him from feeling empty, scared and alone and anxiety pumping through his veins.

“Just get in the country?” A voice said behind him, and Klaus blinked, turning to look at the insanely hot man behind him. Like seriously, these men were wasted here. 

Klaus tried to think of something witty, something to make the other man smile wider and maybe even laugh. But his tongue felt huge and he was probably in what you call shock, so instead he just said “Yeah.” You know, like an idiot. 

“Shit’s crazy I know.” Dave said with a slight chuckle and man, understatement much?

“Yeah.” He says again, because man words are apparently hard now. 

“You’ll adjust,” Dave says, before raising his hand for Klaus to shake. “The names Dave.”

“Klaus.” He replies, able to push his own name past his lips. He raised his arm and clasped their hands together, ignoring how warm Dave’s skin feels against his. Under his seat he pushed the stupid briefcase thing back a bit further. 

“Your cold as ice.” Dave comments, dropping his hand. 

Klaus laughed breathily. “Always have been. Or maybe your just too hot.” He comments, resisting the urge to wink. He hates the 1960’s and their homophobic ways stopping him from fully flirting with this handsome soldier. Dave smiles at them, and then they arrive and their forced to leave. 

________________

War is _hell._

Liker seriously, he knew it was bad after hearing stories from dead veterans who visited his room when he was little, but _really?_

He learned how to use a gun quickly, one of the more trained soldiers shoving it into his hand and giving him a quick one-minute lesson. Then he was thrown right into the fray. 

So there he was, a junkie still going through withdrawals in the middle of a war with no training and oh, he can also see ghosts. 

He’s having a grand ole time. 

Weirdly enough, he manages to get through the first day without dying brutally. So, point for him he guessed?

Sitting in bed that night, he couldn’t help but pull out the briefcase again. 

Holding his breath, he closed his eyes and unlocked it, the lock clicking open. He waited for the sensation to hit, for him to feel like he was being folded in half then put through a meat grinder, but it never happens. 

He starts to laugh, tears burning his eyes because this is actually happening isn’t it?

He was stuck here. In the middle of a war with no way out. Was he ever going to be able to go home? To see his family again? That thought makes him laugh even harder, did they even know he was gone yet? Or were they still to wrapped up in their own lives to notice him? He guessed that’s what he deserved for being a shitty person huh. 

“Hey, you okay?” Someone says, and Klaus looks over to see Dave standing there, looking worried and concerned. Klaus smiled softly at him. 

“Just great.” He muttered, Dave nodded, like he understood what Klaus was really saying. 

“So, where are you from Klaus? What brought you here to the middle of this shit hole?” Dave asked, sitting on the bed beside him. 

Klaus didn’t want to know who’s bed he was currently on, he wondered what happened to the poor chap. Maybe he’d figure it out soon enough. 

“The future, 50 or so years from now.” He said sarcastically laughing again. Dave didn’t reply, well handsome soldier thinking he was insane wasn’t the worst thing to happen to him that day. 

“Okay then future Klaus. I’ll humor you. What’s the future like?” Dave eventually asked, and Klaus looked over surprised to see that Dave was still actually talking to him. 

“Pretty crappy actually. The presidents a dick and global warming might end the entire world in 12 years. But hey I’ll probably be dead by then so whatever.” He said, staring Dave down and watching as a soft smile played on Dave’s lips. 

“Sounds wonderful.” Dave said, and Klaus really had no idea if he was being sarcastic or not. 

“I mean, if you don’t believe me ask yourself why I suddenly showed up on the ground in the middle of the night in a flash of blue light.” Klaus pointed out, and Dave shrugged. 

“We are in the middle of a warzone Klaus, if you say you are from the future, well I believe you. I’ve seen crazier things in the past few days then I had in my entire life.” Dave said with a laugh, and Klaus laughed along, finding himself mesmerized in the contours of Dave’s face. 

“Well, anyways. Goodnight future Klaus, long day tomorrow so I’d suggest sleeping well.” Dave said, laying down as the lights were flickered out. 

Klaus laid down, closing his eyes and breathing deeply ignoring the images of dead bodies and blood behind his eyes. 

_______________________________

Routine wasn’t something he expected to fall into. But he does. 

Every morning he pulls out his little suitcase and he opens it, hoping that maybe it will work just this once. It never does. 

Then he grabs his gun, smiles at Dave and they walk to patrol, Dave and him staying silent and content to simply walk together. They get grenades thrown at him, bullets shot at them and they shoot back. Klaus never thought he’d be able to kill a man, but he found that when it was them or him or Dave, well it was no competition. 

Then after eating him and Dave will sit on their beds, just talking to each other and swapping stories. 

Then they sleep and repeat. 

Weirdly enough, after a month Klaus starts to give up on the idea of ever going home. 

The briefcase isn’t working but he still tries, because well this isn’t home. Home is with Ben, with Vanya and the rest of his pig-headed siblings. As much as he hated them sometimes, as much as they ignored him and thought him useless, he still loved them. And he missed them. 

But this was his life for now. Sitting in the middle of a war zone with no one but Dave and the hundreds of ghosts to keep him company. 

Actually, the ghosts here weren’t that bad. He thought it would be terrible, hundreds of ghosts screaming at him all at once, but they left him alone. Kept their distance. It was refreshing. 

It gave him time to think, time to sober up from the drugs, since all those fun drugs weren’t really available at this time. It gave him time to reflect and actually forge a relationship with someone outside other druggies and his family. 

Klaus hated everything about this, but when he looked over at Dave, Dave with his soft beautiful smile, who was so strong and brave but vulnerable and sensitive too, when he looked at Dave he despised everything a little less.


	2. At the End of The World

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of short but everything I wrote got deleted because Word sucks so I just kind of whipped this up to get a chapter out.

The hardest part of his newfound life in the war wasn’t the killing. It wasn’t people shooting at him. It as the hundreds of ghosts milling around, all lost and confused and calling out for loved ones. 

It was the ache deep in his bones. The times he spent wishing and craving for the sweet release the drugs gave him. He needed it to tune out the pain, to stop the voices from echoing around him. He tried his best to replace the blessed peace, he took the cigars and cigarettes and took long swings of the ale passed around, but it wasn’t enough. 

Most days he woke up with shaking hands and a running mind, his body and heart aching with need and want. He needed drugs to send the memories away, to stop the roaring of voices inside his head. 

But he couldn’t, there was no drugs here stronger than the occasional joint, and even so it just wasn’t enough. He craved the taste of bitter pills on his tongue, the rush of energy and joy that it brought him. The buzz that ran through his veins and lured him away from insanity and insecurity. 

Around a month and a half in he hit the lowest he had been, sleep was rare in war. They got up at ass o'clock in the morning, patrolled for hours upon end, then ate food that taste like dog shit, and ambushed late at night, sleeping whenever they could find the time. 

So nightmares were rare, since when he finally got to sleep he was so tired he passed out the second he laid down. His dreams were filled with darkness and nothing else, a blessed silence and darkness that he craved at all times. 

But this night, everything changed. Suddenly his dreams were not just blackness after he passed out, but filled with memories. The dark walls of the mausoleum pushing down at him, the voices of hundreds of ghosts piercing his ears. Their faces distorted and filled with pain and agony, screaming and begging and yelling his name. 

He woke up with a gasp, his eyes flying open and breath coming out in short gasps. He shot up in bed, scrambling to get out of bed and out of the tent, with the walls closing in on him and crushing him. Luckily he remembers to grab his rifle, even while knowing he wouldn’t be able to use it with how bad he was shaking. 

He stumbled out the door, careful not to wake any as he fell to his knees a good twenty feet away, nausea swirling in his stomach and panic in his veins. The faces of the dead assaulted him, and he could hear them calling his name over and over again. 

_Klaus_

_Listen to me Klaus_

_Help me Klaus_

_Klaus_

_Klaus_

_Klaus-_

“Klaus!” Someone said, and Klaus looked up, his head jerking forwards slightly. Squatting in front of him was a concerned looking Dave, who was also holding onto his shoulder and Klaus could feel the warmth leaking into him. 

“Deep breaths Klaus.” Dave coached quietly, placing his other hand on Klaus’s chest. He smiled weakly, Klaus wondered if he was always smiling. Even in this hell hole Dave could always be seen with a half smile on his lips, like he knew a joke no one else knew. “You back with me?”

He thinks so. The darkness had faded away, like Dave had brought the sun with him, like Dave was the sun. “Yeah. Thanks.” He said, his heart still pumping and still slightly out of breath. 

“No problem, you wanna talk about it?” Dave asked, taking his hands away so he could fully sit down and Klaus missed the feeling immediately. 

“Not really.” Klaus said with a laugh. 

“Maybe that’s the problem.” Dave said, and Klaus blinked in surprise. The smile on Dave’s face had fallen off, replaced by a small frown. 

“Excuse moi?” He asked, crossing his arms. 

“You are suffering Klaus. We can all tell. But you keep on brushing us off with those stupid jokes and or drinking. If you just talked for a bit maybe we can help you. We’re all stuck here together.” Dave said softly, reaching out as if to touch Klaus’s shoulder but pulled back last moment. 

“My jokes aren’t stupid.” Klaus muttered weakly, pouting slightly. 

“See!” Dave said, pointing to Klaus. “That’s what I’m talking about. Just let us in once in a while darling.” 

Klaus stared at him, wondering if Dave knew he used to pet name. Wondering if Dave knew how it made his stomach flip, but not in the I’m-going-to-throw-up way but more of the God-you-are-so-beautiful-and-you-make-me-happy way. 

“I’ll try.” He said weakly, to confused by the fluttering feeling in his chest to think of a witty response.

Dave smiled, standing up and reaching a hand to help Klaus up. Klaus grabbed it, letting himself get pulled up until they were face to face. 

“Do you want to talk to me about it?” Dave said quieter, holding onto Klaus hand a bit too long to be normal. 

“Not really.” Klaus said weakly. “Tell me about your home.” He said instead, wanting to hear more about the beautiful farm Dave grew up on. Dave talked about it a lot, going on about the crops, the animals, his little sister and older brother. 

“Of course.” Dave said, pulling Klaus back into the tent, where they sat crossed legged on Dave’s bed, and Dave told him stories of his countless jobs he had around the farm, his favourite chicken, and the way the sun set. 

Klaus was soon forgetting about the small room and the voices screaming at him, the ache in his veins lessoned, the need for the rush next to disappeared and instead of getting lost in the drugs or alcohol Klaus allowed himself to simply get caught up in the sound of Dave’s voice. 

__________________

Three weeks later and Klaus didn’t regret taking Dave’s advice. 

He went out with the rest of their battalion more, getting to know the other men he fought with. 

He met Joe, who talked loudly and laughed a lot, but had the softest hands that he used to comfort the newest recruits. He met Charlie and Manny, the twins who loved to switch beds in the middle of the night to confuse everyone else. He met Jones, who talked about his wife and daughters with a soft smile on his face, the sparkle in his eyes not yet gone. He met Jack, who loved to dance and tease Klaus about his tattoos, but willingly gave him a new one when he asked. 

He talked to them, drank with them, learned to trust them on his back and learned how to gain that trust them with his. They became more than people he fought with, they became his friends, his brothers. 

He was content to fight beside them, felt like it was his duty to go out into the field with them, to shoot people who shot at them. 

Then Jones was hit with a bullet to the lung, and Klaus was the one to hold him in his arms, feeling as the warmth drained out. He was the one who comforted his friend and listened as Jones pleaded in his raspy broken voice to tell his wife and kids that he loved them. Klaus was there when the light in his eyes finally faded, and then he sacrificed his blanket to cover the body so they wouldn’t have to stare at him. 

Klaus lost himself in a drink that night, trying to forget his friends choked breaths. Tried to pretend that Jones still wasn’t on the edge of his vision, staring into the night with a shell-shocked expression. 

A month later Klaus was attempting to sleep when Dave shook him awake, a playful look in his eyes and a finger to his lips to tell Klaus to shut up. 

Klaus didn’t question it, simply got up and grabbed his jacket and his gun, following Dave as the snuck outside. 

Once out of the tent Dave grabbed his hand, pulling him into the forest and through the trees. Klaus paid close attention to their surroundings, you never know when an enemy soldier could be waiting in the bushes, waiting to strike. 

Soon though, Dave led them into a clearing, doing small jazz hands that were so pathetically Dave that it made his chest ache. 

“Ta-da” Dave whispered. “Isn’t it perfect? You get a beautiful view of the stars and it's on the opposite side of enemy camps so we should be safe.”

Klaus smiled, Dave’s childlike enthusiasm catching as Dave pulled him down to the ground, Klaus landing on his ass in the haste. He didn’t have time to moan dramatically about it, which was just tragic, before Dave was pointing up at the sky. 

“Do you see the stars? The moon? Do you know any constellations?” Dave asked in one breath. 

“I never had the time or place to do it as a kid.” Klaus answered, looking up at the stars. “But yeah, their pretty cool.”

“I had plenty back at the farm.” Dave said. “My brother taught me all the constellations. See! There’s Orion.” 

Dave continued to whisper rapidly, pointing out the different stars and patterns, and Klaus stared up for a moment. Yeah, the stars did look pretty nice out. They twinkled in the sky, like they were winking down at him, dancing around the galaxy and begging him to come dance with them. 

But then Klaus looked over at Dave, who was still immersed in the sky above. He was positively stunning in every way. The soft light from the moon lit up the contours of his face, his tan skin glowing. His sweet blue eyes were sparkling with life and wonder as he looked at the stars, a childlike curiosity that Klaus had so rarely seen. A soft smile pulled at the edges of his lips, his white teeth shining ever so slightly. He looked radiant, happy and despite the shadows hidden in his face and eyes he looked content. In that moment nothing, not the moon, the stars, or even the sun could hold a candle to the simple beauty Dave possessed. 

“Their beautiful aren’t they.” Dave breathed, and Klaus knew he was talking about the stars. The map of the world spread out above them, but Klaus couldn’t care less about them. 

“Yes, they really are.” He whispered, his eyes still locked onto Dave’s face.


	3. Could I? Should I?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm guessing there will be around 5/6 chapters? So sort of halfway there?

Five months into this wonderful timeline and they finally had a goddamn day off.

They all decided to go to one of the towns near their camp, sneaking away to the nearest disco. Joe at once commenting on the abundance of cute girls mulling around. Of course, none of them even spoke the same language as them, but Joe and Charlie immediately started dancing around, laughing as some of the girls lured them away. 

Klaus immediately went to the bar, grabbing a drink for the four of them before turning. 

He never thought this would happen, that he would be sitting here in 1968 at a disco in Vietnam while taking a break from fighting in a war. 

But well, he still wanted to make the most out of whatever ridiculous time this was. And if that meant wearing a bright yellow top that only he could pull off, then well screw whoever judged him. He looked hot as hell, he was sure Dave thought so as well. 

Klaus wasn’t really sure what was going on between the two of them, all he knew was after the past five months they had gotten a lot closer, spending nights just talking and getting to know each other. Now, every time their eyes met there a certain weight to it, an electricity that was carried between them. 

He might only be speaking for himself, but he was starting to think that maybe they had a shot. Klaus had never fallen in love, he learned pretty quickly that there was no one in the world that would ever think of him as good enough, not since he was a junkie who could talk to ghosts. 

So he simply didn’t make ties, he dated purely for the sex, or the place to stay, or the food. Never for an actual connection, never for love. But now? He looked at Dave and his chest felt warm, fluttery. He looked at Dave and found that he wanted to keep looking for as long as he could. He would willingly do anything for Dave, go to the ends of the world and back just to make him happy. 

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Dave asked, sliding up beside him, their arms brushing. Klaus tried to tell himself he was only that close because the music was loud. He was lying. 

“Haven’t ingested enough alcohol.” He replied with a wink, quickly throwing back a shot. Dave laughed, warm and sweet like tea spiked with honey. 

“You drink too much.” Dave said knocking their shoulders together.

“You don’t drink enough.” Klaus shot back, grabbing a cup and filling it before passing it to the man. Dave chuckled, and soon they were drinking together, laughing and sharing stories as the alcohol loosened up the tension in their bones. Then two girls pulled them away, smiling sultry as they forced the two of them to dance. Klaus laughed along, dancing with the pretty girl in his arms willingly. After around ten minute he broke away, Dave quickly following. Charlie and Joe joined moments later, shooting back shots with the rest of them. 

Klaus gravitated away from them after a while, moving to the dance floor and swaying along with the music, the drinks making his movements more fluid, alcohol pouring through his veins. The horrors of the outside walls couldn’t reach them here, not with him feeling so light and happy and overjoyed. 

He swayed more, raising his arms and dancing around the others, his eyes half closed as he moved around. He then bumped into someone, turning to see Dave standing there. He jokingly put up his hands like he was going to fight Dave, a half drunken smile on his lips. Dave just laughed, and pulled him closer and then they were dancing together. 

Dancing with Dave was something else, the man wasn’t a good dancer, but he kept up. Every time their skin brushed it felt too warm, like Klaus was finally feeling the heat of the sun. Some drunk soldier bumped into him, and Dave caught him before he fell, and they were suddenly very close. 

Their faces a foot apart, staring into each others eyes Klaus never saw anything more beautiful. 

He glanced down at Dave’s lips, but managed to look back up, smiling widely. 

“Want to go somewhere less crowded?” He cooed, his heart beating wildly. His grin widened when Dave nodded. 

They snuck around the corner, behind a wall of beads that felt cool like water on his skin. They leaned up against the wall, and Klaus wasn’t drunk yet, but the cool cement against his back was cool and refreshing. 

“Do you ever think about home?” Dave asked softly, his voice dreamlike. 

“Sometimes.” Klaus admitted. They hadn’t talked about his family that much, Klaus always tried to steer away from them. 

If he talked about them he might get guilty, he might think about the upcoming end of the world. He might think of Diego’s police friend who died saving him. He might think of Vanya and the loneliness she was feelings. Or Luther and suspiciously bigger body, or Allison and her daughter. He might think of all the things he failed to do and should currently be doing. 

He might feel inclined to open up the briefcase more than he already did. Maybe once a day wasn’t enough to take him back to his time. Maybe talking about his family would make him want to go back. 

So he didn’t talk about them. 

“You never talk about your family much do you.” Dave said, as if reading Klaus mind. 

“They never liked me that much.” Klaus admitted with a bitter laugh. 

“That’s their loss then.” Dave said, his eyes flickering down for a moment before meeting Klaus’s again. 

Klaus licked his lips slightly, wetting the dry mess they were. His heart was pounding, and not from the alcohol this time. 

“What are we Dave?” He asked bluntly, not breaking the eye contact but moving slightly closer, his hand reaching up to ghost Dave’s jaw. 

“What do you mean?” Dave asked quietly. 

“Are we just friends? Or is it something else?” He asked, feeling a lot braver than he should. He was in the 1960’s after all, if he read this wrong he might end up shot and dumped in a trench. 

But he couldn’t be wrong. The smile Dave always gave him, the looks they shared, the way Dave always believed him and never called him stupid. The times Dave held him as he was shaking from the intense cravings, whispering that everything would be alright. The fear in Dave’s eyes every time Klaus went to the field without him. If he was reading this wrong and he somehow doesn’t end up beat to death, Klaus felt he might die from heartbreak.

“I-I think this might be something more.” Dave whispered, his hand reaching up to cup Klaus’s neck. Klaus leaned into the touch, the warmth heating his skin and making his heart flutter and chest ache. 

He looked at Dave, and god he felt like crying. 

He didn’t want to label it before, what was between them, what he was feeling. But god he couldn’t ignore it now. He was in love. 

Hopelessly and completely in love with Dave. 

Then Dave was leaning forwards and their lips met, and Klaus had read the books, watched the tv show. He thought that fireworks would go off, that the world would narrow down until it was just the two of them, that all his problems would be solved and they’d win this war together. 

It didn’t, because that’s not the way the world worked. But instead Klaus felt like this was the answer that he was looking for. The motivation he had been seeking. He would fight to the end of the world for this man, the man who was kissing him so softly and passionately and Klaus had never wanted anything more than he wanted Dave. 

Klaus thought he knew wanting. He knew it every time he came down from a high and felt the craving in every inch of his body. He knew wanting when he watched his siblings interact and get along together while ignoring his opinion. He knew wanting in the way he injected drugs into his veins when he just wanted the voices to shut up. 

But he wanted Dave more. He wanted to be with Dave. Wanted to feel Dave. Wanted to know every inch of Dave and have Dave get to know every inch of him. He wanted to look up at the stars with Dave and be able to name every single constellation. He wanted to go home and have Dave be by his side forever. He wanted to go to the ends of the world and back with him. 

He wanted to love Dave and have Dave love him back. 

They broke apart, their foreheads resting against each other as they simply existed, Klaus staring into Dave’s baby blue eyes with love and surprised to see the same adoration reflected back. 

An hour later they were stumbling to the hotel they paid for, giggling and smiling under the neon lights as they fumbled with the door. Dave was trying to unlock it, being closer to soberness than Klaus was. Klaus was, unhelpfully, kissing Dave’s neck and playing with the edge of the man’s shirt. 

He was happy, light and free and it was better than any high he had ever been on. Because Dave was here with him pulling him inside and shutting the door, their lips crashing together. Their first kiss was a question, soft and light but meaningful. Now, it was all hunger, clashing lips and tongues just looking for a taste. Bodies pressed together and arousal high. 

They spent the night together, lost in passion and pleasure that came with recently found love. And later that night Klaus laid with his chest against Dave’s chest and he smiled, looking up at his sleeping lovers face. 

Every morning he would reach under his cot and grab the briefcase, opening it up and hoping that this was the day that he could go back home. Go back to his family. 

But from that day on the briefcase stayed firmly under his cot, untouched and unopened. 

Because Klaus had finally found his home. 

And it wasn’t at the academy. It wasn’t with his siblings. It wasn’t in 2019. 

It was here in 1968, laying in a warzone, wrapped in Dave’s arms. 

This was his home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you all think of this chapter, I know they have been short lately but I'm really just trying to set everything up.


	4. If I die we'd be together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of like this chapter?

The worst part about being with Dave was the hiding. They couldn’t be together in public. They would get killed, beat to death, humiliated. So instead they spent hours late at night, sacrificing sleep in order to kiss and talk and exist. 

But the few months after the night in the disco had been beautiful and perfect. They spent their time growing more and more in love, sneaking out at night to go on ‘dates’ in the town. Which was mostly them going to drink and dance with each other. 

He had now been in this place for seven months. Seven months longer than he ever though he would survive. He guessed his continued survival was based on Dave. Klaus couldn’t leave him, in face, Dave made him promise around four months in that he wouldn’t die. 

Klaus remembered that night, admitted to Dave his drug habit and how most of it stemmed from a want to numb everything. To make everything fade like death. He guessed he got a bit morbid, because Dave was then clutching his hand, making him promise that he wouldn’t try to get himself killed here. That he would continue to push through despite it all. And Klaus agreed like the idiot he is. 

So here he was, still in a war widened land with so many ghosts milling around sometimes it was hard to tell the living from the dead. 

But he always knew Dave was alive. Always had Dave’s steady presence beside him, urging him on. Watching his back and making sure that they were always safe. Klaus always felt safe around Dave, even in the middle of a battlefield with gunshots raining down on all sides. 

It was midnight, and Dave was pulling him out of bed again, and they were sneaking out like teenagers with a forbidden relationship. 

The clearing had become their place, small and hidden away from the dangers of the areas around them. They sat down together, Klaus lighting up a joint that he had managed to sneak in from town. He knew Dave didn’t approve, but Klaus needed it. And it wasn’t like he was shooting up with heroin or anything. 

They sat there for a while, just leaning against each other and letting their body heat mix. Klaus breathed out, the smoke filling the air in front of them, shining in the moonlight. 

“Tell me about home.” Klaus whispered, turning his head to rest it on Dave’s shoulder. 

“I’ve told you about it a million times.” Dave replied with a small chuckle. Klaus didn’t reply, knowing that the man would continue. 

“My dad owned a farm.” Dave started with. “My mom died a year after having me. My dad raised me and my siblings to be farmhands. You would love the house. Small and quaint and beautiful. The sun would set over the hill in front of it and I would watch every night. The sky painted red and orange. Beautiful. Just like you.” Dave said, reaching over and tapping Klaus’s nose gently. 

“Tell me about your home Klaus.” Dave asked, like he always did. Klaus opened his mouth to change the topic like he always did. But this time he closed his mouth, taking a deep breath and smiling gently. 

“I was adopted.” He said quietly, feeling the way Dave stilled beside him as he realized Klaus was actually going to talk about it. “I have six siblings. My dad was a bit obsessed with adopting us all despite hating kids.” He said with a bitter laugh. 

“I lived in a mansion. My father was insane, a monster. Really just an all-around terrible guy really. But we survived, well almost.” Klaus looked up at Dave, who was watching him with sorrowful eyes. 

“My one brother, Ben, I was close to him. He always knew how to calm me down, how to quiet the ghosts.” He said, and Dave nodded as if he understood. Klaus had told him about the whole ghost thing, and surprisingly Dave didn’t think he was insane. Or well, any more insane than usual. “I loved him to bits. But we drifted when I got into drugs and stuff like that, then he died.” Klaus looked away, reliving the pain of Ben’s death. 

“But you could still see him?” Dave guessed, and Klaus nodded. 

“Yup, he didn’t come with me here though. Got lost in time somewhere. I’m sure when I go back he’ll be there to annoy me more.” Klaus said, swatting at a fly beside his head. Dave went unnaturally quiet, and Klaus looked over, surprised to see a sad look on his face. 

“You still want to go back.” Dave said quietly, and Klaus felt his heart break a little at the sad look on his face. 

“I-“Klaus started, but then he stopped. Did he really want to go back? “I don’t know.” He admitted, to both Dave and himself. 

Dave looked up, looking slightly hopeful. It made something twist inside him, seeing how someone actually wanted him around. Was sad at the idea of Klaus leaving. 

“My dad’s dead, but my siblings are still assholes.” He continued, needing to get the words out. “They treat me like dirt, Vanya too. They think that I’m just some stupid junkie. Not like I’ve been proving them wrong.”

“Don’t think like that.” Dave said softly, cupping his cheek. “You are so much more than an addict. Your brave and strong and beautiful and they are idiots for not seeing it.” 

Klaus felt some tears fill his eyes and he blinked to make them disappear. “They don’t listen to me, belittle me. Hell I got kidnapped, long story, and they didn’t even notice. They probably don’t even know I’m gone now.”

That made him especially sad. Diego probably knew about his friend by now, which means that they knew he was taken. But Klaus knew that they wouldn’t care. That they would still be off too absorbed in their own selves to deal with him. 

“You don’t deserve that.” Dave whispered, suddenly sitting up and sitting in front of Klaus, his eyes hopeful. “Stay with me.” He blurted out. 

“Dave,” he said sadly, but cut himself off before he finished whatever thought that was turning into. 

“Just think about it Klaus! We can finish this tour and disappear into the mountains or the forest somewhere. Build a small little farm, a place for us to stay. No one would have to know, we could be together without the fear of being caught. Just you and me. No one to tell us we’re dirty, wrong, useless. Just you and me and the countryside, calm and beautiful and just for us.” Dave said, a smile on his lips. 

And _fuck,_ Klaus wanted that more than anything.

He wanted to live with Dave, be with Dave for the rest of his life. Eve if it meant not going home ever again. He could stay here and be happy. Hell, five more months and they could escape this hell. Screw off to some secluded place and be happy. 

He was happy with Dave. He could stay happy with Dave. His chest hurt while picturing it, the simple happy life they could live. It made him ache with _want_ and _need._

“Could we get a cat?” He asked quietly, a single tear running down his cheek. Dave laughed wetly, his thumb darting out to swipe the wetness away. 

“You can get how ever many cats as you want baby.” He said softly. “You can take in how ever many strays you want.”

“Bad idea, you’ll be overrun in no time.” Klaus responded seriously, Dave laughed touching their foreheads together.

“Is this a bad idea?” Dave asked, sounding slightly scared and worried about facing possible rejection. 

“I love bad ideas sweetheart.” Klaus responded, pecking Dave on the lips. 

“Am I a bad decision?” Dave asks after a moment, blue eyes meeting his green ones. 

“Yes.” Klaus said breathlessly, and tears were now welling up in Dave’s eyes as well. “I mean, look at the pants your wearing, they don’t do any justice for that ass.”

Dave burst out laughing, his head thrown back as Klaus grinned at him, their fingers interlocked. 

They settled down after a moment, Dave looking at him with what Klaus now knew was love. He knew it was reflected in his own eyes. It was a beautiful thing, to love someone and know they love you back. 

“Just think about it okay? Dave said, all soft again. “I just want to be with you Klaus. It doesn’t matter where. All I want is you, forever and ever.” 

“Are you proposing to me David!” Klaus teased, smacking Dave’s arm. 

“If that’s what it takes.” Dave said seriously, and Klaus’s heart fluttered. God he loved this man too much. 

“Yes.” Klaus whispered before he was able to stop himself. Not that he wanted to. “I want to be with you too.”

Dave smiled, their lisp meeting once again, sweet and light and filled with emotion. Klaus had tears running down his cheeks, because god this was now his future. A long and fulfilling life with Dave. just the two of them and a future to look forwards to. Hope filled his chest, intermingling with the longing and love that warmed him. 

“I love you.” Dave whispered, pulling back. 

“I love you too.” Klaus responded, lightly and easily, the power behind the words not even close to conveying the adoration he felt when looking at Dave. “We should get back before someone notices we’re gone.” He continued and Dave groaned, his forehead dropping down to rest on Klaus’s dirty shoulder. 

“Fine.” Dave said, pouting like a little child, or like Klaus when he doesn’t get his way. 

“Let’s go soldier, five more months then you’ll be sitting in a beautiful home overrun by hundreds of cats.” Klaus singsonged, getting up and pulling Dave with him. 

“I can’t imagine I’d want anything else.” Dave responded. 

Klaus grinned, and everything felt right in the world. 

_______________________

 

“Luther was the leader,” Klaus started at Dave’s request, now open to discussing his siblings and upbringing with his lover. Dave nodded, encouraging him on. “Carbon copy of our dad, except he’s a tiny bit nicer. Moral compass you know, all of our well being rested on his enormous shoulders.” Klaus laughed, and Dave chuckled, both of them thinking of how Klaus explained Luther’s body change. 

“Diego and I were sort of close. I would make him drive me around and he would put up with my shit. He had some anger issues sometimes, and tough love is his way of dealing with things. But I get it I guess. He got kicked out of a police academy so now he’s some type of vigilante thingy.” Klaus took part his gun again, cleaning it easily. 

“Allison was nice enough I guess. Really self centered, but what can you do right? She lets me borrow her clothes, she has good taste, and she painted my nails as a kid. You’d get along with her I think.” He clicked the part back into place, checking that it was all right. 

“Five, bless his heart, was a little prick when we were younger. Then he went to the future, saw a bunch of shit, and now he’s a little prick in the present too. A bitter 60-year-old in a preteen’s body. But I love that little asshole, well, mostly love annoying him.” He put his rifle down, picking up Charlie’s from beside his bed. 

“Ben, well, I’ve told you about Ben already.” Klaus said, and it was true. Ben was the only one Dave willingly asked about. 

“Vanya, well we didn’t treat her that well. Excluded her a lot. I regret that a fair amount. She deserved better than our fucked-up family. She wrote a book about us, she was bitter and well let’s just say she didn’t say a lot of nice things.” He finished Charlie's gun and started on the next, Dave working silently beside him. 

“Then there was mom, she was a robot. She was sweet, but she was programed that way. I think she cared though, she made sure I didn’t light the house on fire a lot. And Pogo was cool, he’s a monkey my dad made into a human. He was a better dad than dad was actually. We had an interesting family.” Klaus said, finishing the last one and placing them all by their respective beds. 

“You don’t say.” Dave responded, and Klaus looked over, watching as his lover watched him with a soft look in his eyes. 

“When are the boys supposed to be back?” Klaus asked, jumping onto the cot and bouncing up and down. 

“Soon I think, the ambush should be over anytime now. You read for tomorrow’s mission?” Dave asked, grabbing Klaus’s hand and pressing a kiss to the knuckle. 

“Yeah, shouldn’t be too hard right? Ninth month, almost a year now huh.” Klaus said, reflecting on the months. The months of horror and death and loss and love. “Three more months until we’re free baby.” 

Dave hummed, staring at Klaus’s lips. 

“Just kiss me you oaf.” Klaus muttered, leaning forwards to capture Dave’s lips against his. They made out for a while, their lips crashing against each other before Dave pulled away. 

“They’ll be back soon.” He muttered, and Klaus sighed. He hated keeping their relationship secret. He wanted to flaunt it, show the world just how much he loved Dave. But they couldn’t, he knew that much.

“Three months love. Then cats, farms, and peace galore.” Dave said, kissing Klaus’s forehead. They had been dreaming about their place together ever since they talked about it. Dreaming it up while out at night, laying in each others arms.

They always said hope was beneficial to getting through war but too much just killed you. Klaus didn't get it. Everyday he saved himself from doing something stupid by simply thinking of what he had to look forwards to. SImply thinking about Dave and himliving together, as close to married as they could get. And then he wanted to keep fighting, to keep powering through. If not for himself, then for Dave.

“Now come on darling, the C rations are calling.” Dave said, pecking him on the lips one last time.

“Yum.” Klaus deadpanned, but followed Dave nothing less, their hands clasped together tightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think!! I may or may not be planning a little spin off from this chapter where they go to the future and no one dies? Do y'all want to see that?


	5. At the top of my lungs in my arms, he dies. He dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?

Klaus could see the end in sight. In two more months their tour would be over. Or well, Dave’s tour. Klaus wasn’t actually suppose to be there, but that wasn’t important. 

The important part was that the fantasy they had been building up was becoming more of a reality. After every battle Klaus would have to take a moment to just sit and think. Think that with every second a brighter future came closer. 

Klaus had never dreamed of having a bright future. In fact, he barely thought he had a future most times. He always thought he’d end up dead for good on the streets, overdosed on a cocktail of drugs and finally able to rest in peace. On the streets he didn’t allow himself to think that maybe there was something after this, a future where he could live happily. 

Klaus couldn’t remember being happy without the help of a buttload of drugs. 

He knew what it was like now obviously, being with Dave and the rest of his teammates. But this is the closest he had ever been to actually having a future. 

He could taste it sometimes, smell it, feel it. It was surrounding him, keeping him moving even when things went wrong and he had to watch another comrade die. When the ghosts became too much. He reminded himself of what it felt like to lay in Dave’s arms. What it felt like to love and be loved. 

It kept him moving. 

“Is this a good idea?” Klaus asked, worry evident in every inch of him. 

Dave had volunteered to go up to the front lines. He hoped that maybe it would help him get out sooner, of course Klaus joined him, volunteering beside him. But the worry plagued his mind. He had a bad feeling about this. 

“No, but Klaus it could help us get out of here a month early. They let people who survive end their tour easy. We do this for half a month and we can go. Be free, is that not what we want?” Dave asked, not bothering to turn around. 

“No, your right but still.” Klaus protested, fidgeting slightly. Dave turned, sighing and grabbing Klaus’s hand momentarily. 

“If you don’t want to do this we can drop out.” Dave offered, but Klaus shook his head. He didn’t want to give up this easily. Didn’t want to give up his shot. Their shot. He knew that if he dropped out Dave would follow him. But Klaus was willing to follow him to the front lines, he wasn’t afraid.

Dave smiled, dropping his hand and walking away. Klaus watched him go, turning to go back to the tent. He sat on his cot, grabbing his rifle and cleaning it slowly. It had become a reflex now, taking apart his gun and cleaning it. A comfort for when Dave wasn’t there to calm him down. 

His hands were shaking, and he craved for the sweet release of some drugs, something to calm the anxiety swirling inside his stomach. He lit up a cigarette, laying back in bed and picking up some random magazine, flipping through its pages. Joe walked in moments later, yawning as he collapsed onto the bed. 

“Please tell me it’s almost lunch future boy.” Joe groaned, turning to stare at him. Klaus raised an eyebrow, giving him the only answer he needed. 

Technically, everyone in the battalion knew that he was from the future, he told them all. But really Dave was the only one who believed him, the rest of them kind of just humored him. Calling him nicknames like future boy and others. Klaus didn’t let it bother him, he had been called much worse in the past. 

“So, your going up to the front lines huh?” Joe asked sitting up and grabbing his own cigarette. The smell of smoke filled the air, but Klaus didn’t mind. 

“Yup.” He said popping the ‘p’ and waving his ‘goodbye’ hand at Joe. 

“You and Dave. Two of our best.” Joe commented. “You better get your ass back here.” 

Klaus laughed. “I hope we will.” He whispered, the sick feeling in his chest growing. “God I hope so.”

_______________________

This truly was the end of the world. 

Klaus stood behind the trench, listening to the gunshots rain down around him, twinkling like broken glass. His heart was pounding, his hands shaking as he took deep breaths. He turned from the safety, shooting widely at anything that moved before ducking back, bullets flying past him. He looked over to his side, and gasped, blinking back tears as he saw Manny’s dead body staring back at him, a gunshot in his head, his lifeless eyes staring at Klaus.

Klaus closed his eyes, pushing down the terror and bone deep sorrow as he heard Charlie start screaming. 

_“No!” Manny! Medic, Medic! Please no. God no, Manny”_

Klaus turned, shooting again, tears blurring his vision but he didn’t care, Charlies pleads echoing in his ears. He looked the other way. Meeting Dave’s eyes. 

____

Dave nodded once, and Klaus smiled weakly at him. 

____

But then it was back to war. 

____

Back to dead friends and grieving brothers. 

____

Back to gunshots and screams and mud and dirt and pain. 

____

They weren’t going home anytime soon. Manny, Jones, Milton, Anderson, so many more. They were all dead. Leaving behind families and friends. What did they do to deserve this? What god did they piss off? All the wounds that were left in every man sitting and standing near him, all fighting desperately for their lives. Those wounds would never heal. Klaus was sure of that. No drugs, no alcohol, nothing could erase the voices of screaming friends and brothers from his ears, could erase the image of his friends red blood soaking down their face. 

____

Klaus took a deep breath. Turning and shooting again. 

____

And again. 

____

And again. 

____

There was no end. No end to the suffering, to the killing, to the death. 

____

There was no end in sight, nothing that could repair these men. Nothing that could solve the problem that they had created in this world. It was easy to think that they could die here. 

____

Death was so close, was surrounding him at all sides. Never fading away. Klaus thought he knew death as a child, but now? Now death and him were best friends. They stood hand in hand, both holding guns that shot and were shot at. They both lived out an undeserved fate.

____

Why did Klaus deserve this? To be here and watch his friends and brothers die? Why was he the one to live? Why wasn’t he laying on the ground, gunshot to the head instead of Manny? 

____

He would never get an answer, not now, not in the future, not in the years that he would live out in peace. 

____

There was no answer to the horrors here. 

____

So he turned around and shot his gun instead. 

____

_________________

____

Dave and him loved to dance. 

____

They would sneak out to the disco, moving in time with the music. Their hips and arms waving wildly. Those nights were night of passion, of fun and drinking and joking around. 

____

Other nights they would sneak out to the clearing, the moonlight shining down on them. Dave would hold him close, his face shining with the dull light. They would sway to music only they could hear, holding each other tightly and trying to forget about everything they saw. 

____

They tried to forget their friends’ lifeless body, tried to forget that they killed people that day. That maybe on the other side of this war other men were grieving as well and it was their fault. They held onto each other and tried to replace the image of their friends’ dead bodies with pictures of the others face. 

____

On nights like that they would twirl and sway, skin close and hearts beating as one. It was when their tears mixed in with their kisses and together they kept their friends alive through stories and memories. It was nights when they held onto each other and thanked whatever god was left that both of them were still here. 

____

It was on nights like those when Klaus held onto Dave and cried, relieved that it wasn’t Dave lying on the field with the bullet in his head. Klaus cried for his friends, he cried for Dave, he cried for the memories he knew he would never erase. 

____

Under the moonlight they danced, pretending that everything was okay in this broken land they called Shau Valley. 

____

_________________________________

____

Klaus was never alone in this place.

____

Dave was a constant, almost never leaving his side. They were attached at the hip, always close enough to see each other. But sometimes they weren’t able to, their commander sending them on different mission or tasks. 

____

And in that time he was kept company by his remaining friends. Joe who always tried to cheer him up, pressing up against Klaus when he started to shake because Joe knew that Klaus was too tired to deal with this all alone. He stayed with Charlie, who’s eyes were dead but he still tried to smile, still laughed softly at Klaus’s jokes. He had brothers here, people closer than family. A bond that can only be formed by going to war together, by fighting side by side to the end. 

____

But when no one else was around, well the ghosts kept his company. 

____

There were thousands of them. Natives, soldiers from both sides, the ghosts of loved ones who died and were wandering around trying to find their lost love. They were always walking around, lost and wandering with no end in sight. They would watch him, smiling sadly as they watched him go through the motions, shooting and patrolling and on edge. 

____

He sat down with the ghosts of his friends, talking to them so they wouldn’t get lonely. He talked to men from the other side of the war, broken Viennese and broken English meshing into a broken conversation filled with tears and anger and sympathy. 

____

Klaus was never alone. Everywhere he looked someone was with him, living or dead, all of them calling out his name, trying to lure him towards and early death. And the _screams_. The thousands of voices all yelling in agony, either dying, dead or watching their friends and family die. They grated on his ears worse than the gunshots, than the helicopters threatening to bomb them. 

____

The screams kept him up, assault him and breaking him down slowly until he grabbed a bottle of alcohol and drank until he was drunk. 

____

But then Dave would come back, and Klaus learned how to push the ghosts away, he learned not to give in and instead used Dave to numb his spiralling thoughts. 

____

__________________

____

Dave was watching Klaus and Klaus was watching Dave. They shared the look, talking through their eyes and nothing else. They were both terrified, getting ready for their last mission with this battalion. After this they were getting shipped further into the war, to face the front lines. 

____

Dave walked over to him, handing him his rifle as Klaus pulled on his jacket, the sleeves ripped off to help the heat. 

____

“You ready?” Klaus asked, trying to mask his fear. The fear never went away here, was only dulled by experience and how used to it he was. 

____

“I’m never ready. But I have you by my side.” Dave said with a smile, glancing around and waiting for the rest of the team to leave before reaching out and squeezing Klaus’s hand. “That’s all I need.”

____

“Thank babe,” Klaus said with a wink. “Now let’s go you big homo, we have a war to win.” He said walking past Dave and slapping him hard on the ass. 

____

Watching Dave’s face turn bright red and hearing him squeak slightly before turning to follow him. Klaus cackled as he was leaving, his spirit as light as he would let it as he was marching into a war zone.

____

____________

____

The first three days of the front lines were terrifying. They had little to no sleep, running off of adrenaline and any last spikes of energy they could find. They rained over shot after shot, listening to every command they could hear. 

____

Klaus tried not to think of it. Not to think of the people he was killing, the people he knew getting killed. Every time he closed his eyes he could hear the gunshots raining down on him, hear the helicopter fly over head and feel the paralyzing fear that maybe this was it. 

____

He wasn’t sure how they were suppose to survive weeks like this, let alone days. But Dave was by his side, their legs pressed up against each other and their eyes meeting at every chance they got. 

____

He had to remind himself about what they were doing this for. 

____

For their friends, for their future, for each other. 

____

It kept him going, gave him a purpose he never thought he would get. 

____

“Hey, pretty boy! Get back up there and start shooting!” Someone barked out, and Klaus responded on instinct, popping his head up and shooting off another few rounds, over and over again until he was forced back down into cover. He glanced over at Dave, who was sitting beside him, breathing deeply. 

____

“Why is pretty boy and insult?” He asked, slightly out of breath due to fear and adrenaline. “I know I’m beautiful.” 

____

Dave laughed, the first smile Klaus had seen since they go there, and his chest warmed once again, fluttering despite the grinding sounds of screams and bullets filling his ear. For the moment it was just him and Dave, the two of them against the world, fighting side by side. 

____

“Get moving!”

____

Klaus sat back up, the routine repeating itself once again. 

____

_____________

____

 

____

They had one more week until they were on their eleventh month, a few more trenches away from winning this particular stretch of land and a few weeks before they could live the life they deserved. Before they got to grow old together and live out their dreams. 

____

And god Klaus dared to dream, dared that maybe he would be able to live through this hell and walk out through the other side, Dave by his side. 

____

The bullets rained down over top of him, one skidding past him and hitting the dirt beside him, shooting up puffs and dirt and mud. Bombs flew over head, the whistle making his heart skip. Klaus ducked down, breathing deeply and grinning over at Dave. 

____

“Christ on a cracker that was close one huh Dave?” He joked, waiting for Dave to duck down with him so they could share their private smile before doing it all again. 

____

But Dave didn’t move. Didn’t react. 

____

“Dave?” He asked, his heart dropping as he shook Dave slightly. 

____

The other man didn’t move.

____

_No_

____

_God please no._

____

He leaned over, the world narrowing down to Dave as he grabbed his shoulder and turned him around, watching in horror as Dave’s limp body flopped onto the ground, his eyes wide and blood staining his chest. Klaus gasped, his hands reaching out to cover the wound with his hand. 

____

Fuck. He could feel Dave’s blood, the warmth seeping into his fingers and staining them red, the substance coating him as it poured out of the man he loved. 

____

“Medic!” He screamed, panic clawing at his chest. He knew they wouldn’t come. There was too many wounded, not enough time or medics to help him. Klaus’s breath caught in his throat, tears filling his eyes and there was a pain in his chest. A pain so deep it made him gasp. “Medic!”

____

He turned back to Dave, who was looking at him with fear in his eyes. “Hey,” He said softly, slapping his face slightly. 

____

“Dave, look at me. Look at me okay?” He pleaded, watching as blood poured out of Dave’s mouth as he choked on it. Klaus had never seen Dave this afraid, this scared, this emotional. 

____

This couldn’t be happening. 

____

“Oh damn it.” He muttered. “Medic!” He screamed, hoping against all odds that someone would help him. He could feel the blood still pouring onto his fingers, staining them red and Klaus doubted he would ever get it off. 

____

No one came to help, explosions sounding in the distance and bombs whistling overhead. He leaned down closer to Dave, staring into his lovers’ bright blue eyes. “Okay, look at me.” He pleaded, trying to catch Dave’s wandering pain filled eyes. 

____

“Hey,” He said, repeating the word over and over again. “It’s okay.” He lied, and he knew he was lying. 

____

He cradled Dave’s body, holding him closer as the tears ran down his cheeks. He pulled his lover closer, hoping that this was all a fever dream. That this wasn’t happening. 

____

“Please.” He begged, sobbing. “Please. Please stay with me Dave.” He begged.

____

He couldn’t leave now. Not when they were so close. Not after all this time. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t god damn fair. They were so _close_

____

“Stay with me!” He cried out, his voice breaking as he felt Dave start to give his last shuddering breaths. His eyes starting to lose focus. 

____

“No, no, no, no, no, no.” He said, over and over again as if it would bring him back. 

____

Under his fingers he felt Dave’s heart give one last desperate beat, before it was silence, the thudding under his hand ceasing to exist. “No, no no!” He cried, cradling Dave’s face closer. 

____

“Damn it I need a medic.” He cried, but it was useless. All of this was useless. 

____

There was no saving him, no washing off the blood, wiping away the despair running through his veins. 

____

Klaus sobbed, and he thought he knew pain. 

____

He knew pain when watching his siblings slowly give up on him. He knew pain when coming down from a high. From listening to the ghost’s voices scream at him. 

____

But it was nothing compared to this. To the gaping hole inside his chest, he felt like he was the one who got shot. There was no way this was real, but when he looked down he could see Dave’s lifeless eyes looking up at him, unfocused and _dead_. 

____

He slapped his cheek, hoping against all odds that Dave would come back to life, come back to him. The tears were obscuring his vision, blurring it until all eh could see was Dave’s face, streaked with blood and tears and dead. 

____

The blue eyes that used to be so filled with love, with hope and life, now dead. Staring at nothing but emptiness. He leaned down, pressing his lips against his forehead. 

____

He started screaming, sobbing and yelling and begging someone to help him, begging someone to make this all end. 

____

And in that moment Klaus almost hoped someone would shoot him. Would stop this horrible pain that was covering his entire body. The pain that he could only describe while screaming, sobbing over his dead lovers’ body. 

____

It wasn’t fair. 

____

Dave was good. Beautiful and strong and he wanted to do the right thing. 

____

It should be Klaus lying there. Klaus dead and alone and suffering. Not Dave. Never Dave.

____

He screamed all his emotions running from him in a burst of blue light, sending a shockwave across the battlefield, pulsing from his body as he screamed himself hoarse. He barely even noticed as the people fell dead, their lives knocked right from their bodies in the pure display of emotional power. 

____

All he could see was Dave, dead. All he could hear was the silence where Dave’s laughter and breathing used to fill. All he could feel was the bone deep ache and the warmth of blood on his fingers. All he could taste was the blood on his tongue. 

____

He just wanted this all to end. 

____

He wanted to go home. 

____

But his home was currently laying in his arms, cold and lifeless just like all of his other friends. Just like anyone he ever cared about. 

____

But not him, never him. 

____

Klaus screamed again, clutching Dave’s lifeless body to him as he cried, sobbing for the loss of what could have been. 

____

The loss of the life he could have had, of the future he almost obtained. 

____

The loss of Dave, the only person he had ever loved.

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, what do you think? Did I do it justice?


	6. For all the ghosts that were never gonna...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the last chapter! It's not happy at all so you have been warned.

The future is as bleak as he remembered. 

Compared to the reds ( _blood, so much goddamn blood it was everywhere, oh god._ ) and the browns that he was used to in Vietnam the bright sun and the dull grey of the bus was a shock. 

He barely noticed it. 

His fingers were still stained with blood, ( _Dave’s blood Jesus_ ) and he clutched onto the briefcase like it was the last thing he could hold onto. He walked off at the next stop, barely aware of anything. 

Time flowed past him like syrupy water, moments flowing by without him being able to process them. He was sleep walking, moving without thinking of it, his head pounding faintly. 

He looked down at the briefcase in his hands, the rough leather scrapping over his skin. 

This stupid thing was the reason he went through all that. If he never found this he could have protected himself from this pain. But then he wouldn’t have met Dave. Dave, with his soft smile and twinkling eyes. Dave, who was _dead, oh god, dead in his arms, bleeding out under him and his eyes gone blank._

Klaus swung the case, smashing it over and over again, the anger at how unfair this was motivating him as he hit it, over and over until he tossed it to the ground, barely even noticing when it blew up. 

He was falling apart again, falling to his knees as the pain and sorrow hit him again, making it feel like his rib cage was collapsing into itself, crushing his heart and squeezing his lungs. He started screaming again, his calls mixing into his sobs as he mourned. 

This was all so unfair.

_________________

He went home, because really that was all he could do at a time like this. 

He didn’t trust himself on his own, he knew he would end up doing something stupid, like injecting enough drugs to kill an elephant, or screaming until he lost his voice, or taking a knife and opening up a vein until he could join Dave once again. 

Instead he walked into the bathroom, turning on the water until it was hot enough to boil him alive and slinking in. He wanted to blood gone. Wanted the dirt and grime that had been accumulating on his skin to wash away until he was clean once again. 

He laid back, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. 

Then the helicopters came back, flying overhead and threatening to bomb them and end them all. And he could hear the gunshots an himself screaming, screaming Dave’s name over and over again and he could see Dave laying there and-

He turned the water off, closing his eyes and holding back the sob that threatened to tear out of his throat. 

After that, well everything went to shit. They talked and Klaus caught a ride with Diego, he wasn’t too sure where he wanted to go. He had no place here, nowhere to run to and lick his wounds. The wounds that felt like someone was slowly suffocating him, like he was slowly bleeding out from a gunshot to the chest, dying just like Dave did. 

He found a bar, went inside and there Dave was. 

A picture of the two of them and the rest of the group, from early on in their tour. He could see the all, Jones and Charlie and Manny, Joe and Alabaster. Everyone he let die, who he left behind in his grief. 

And he was crying again, images of Dave and the rest of his friend dying. Then they got into a fight, and Klaus wanted it. He wanted to get lost in the pounding of fists, in the pain on his skin. 

Then he wanted to get numb, because not even the pain could fully get rid of the pain bubbling under his skin, the hole in his heart where Dave should be. 

Diego said he should be glad that he could still see Dave at some point. But he didn’t understand. Seeing Dave isn’t the same as having him. As kissing him and holding him and getting to be with him. Just seeing Dave, who wasn’t actually showing up, didn’t replace the place inside him where his hope and dreams used to sit. 

___________

Klaus bought a gun later that day. 

A rifle the same type as the one he had back then. It was hard to get, but no one tried to deny him of it. Not that they’d be able too. 

Klaus sat in his bedroom, on the bed that seemed just a little too soft and uncomfortable and he cleaned it. 

Getting lost in the movements of taking the rifle apart, cleaning it out slowly, then putting it back together again. Over and over again. 

If he tried hard enough he could pretend he was back there, sitting beside Dave and cleaning his gun as they awaited orders from their superior. He could remember what he did. 

_There were gunshots raining down around him, the noise deafening. The weight of the gun steady in his shaking hands and Klaus took a deep breath, pushing back images of blood and ghosts, calling his name and friends and family begging for mercy._

_He knew when he shot he hit someone, could hear the cry of pain and the shouts for medic, but he found he didn’t care, numb to it all._

_There was so much blood, so much screaming, so much pain and suffering surrounding him and oh god when did this end?_

Klaus took a shuddering breath, laughing as he finished assembling the weapon he used to kill so many people. Which was used to kill so many of his friends. 

And yet he was so thankful for the comfort the bringer of death gave him.

___________________

He was sober. 

It _sucked ass._

He wanted to stay sober for as long as he could, for Ben, who didn’t quite understand what Klaus was going through, for Dave, who Klaus hoped to summon and see one last time before they all died. He was going through withdrawal after the happy little blue pill he took in the car with Diego. 

He dumped the rest down the toilet, or at least all he could find in the moment. He was sure that there was more that he couldn’t remember. 

Being sober sucked. 

He felt too much, too used to the blessed numbness he flouted in for the majority of his life. But now there was an ache inside him, unreplaceable by anything. Klaus had a feeling that no amount of drugs or alcohol could ever numb this kind of pain. 

So he tried to be sober, because hell it was the end of the world, he might as well spent the rest of it sober. 

But then Luther was in the rave and it was so hard to resist temptation. 

The noises were so loud there, the pound of music and feet that sounded too much like gunfire. The sounds he wasn’t able to block out no matter how hard he tried. The pulsing lights hurt his eyes and god there was temptation everywhere. 

Ben was by his side, begging him and convincing him to stay strong and just help Luther. 

But the pill went flying and Klaus couldn’t help it anymore. Every inch of his being wanted to sweet release, the blessed nothingness that little blue pill could give him. 

But then he was somewhere else, crawling across the battlefield, gunshots raining down on top of him. He crawled faster, the pill turning into something more sinister, Dave. 

Dave, bleeding out slowly and he could help him if Klaus could just get over there! He could save him, he could help him!

Dave was dead. 

There was no changing that. No matter how long he stayed on the ground cradling the illusion of his limp body close to him. Dave was gone, gone forever and Klaus wasn’t. He was still here suffering and existing and he really didn’t want to. 

There was nothing here for him. 

Then he died. 

Yay?

But apparently god was a little preteen girl on a bike, and she was a little jerk. Didn’t like him that much. But apparently the devil didn’t either. 

But Dave was there, waiting for him and it was everything he had ever wanted. They could be free here, in the afterlife. He felt the tattered and burnt remains of the hope start to burn again, blossoming because Dave was here and they could have their shot now. It didn’t matter that he was dying, or better yet, dead. They could stay here in the afterlife, never having to worry about anything ever again.

But it wasn’t Dave. 

And the hope was stomped out once again, leaving him feeling even more hollow that before when he woke up. 

Alive again. 

Woopty doo.

____________________

Klaus wanted to be surprised at the fact that no one believed him. That he came back and was willing to share and tell them everything about his visit with dear old dad, sober and ready to help. 

_And they still didn’t believe him_

Like he was going to lie to them during the end of the world. Like he didn’t know how big and important this was. God would they ever see him as anything other than the useless attention seeking junkie?

He knew the answer was no. 

It was always going to be no because this was the grave he dug himself. He knew he needed to lie in it. 

He was cursed to stay here forever, living with siblings who belittled him, who didn’t believe him, who thought that he was a useless lying piece of shit. 

There was only two people who never thought of him that way, and they were both dead. 

Then Allison and Vanya happened and everything was a mess and he didn’t know what to do. How to help heal this clearly broken version of a family. No one listened when he begged them to let Vanya out, that this wasn’t the way. He tried to tell them that this would make it worse, that Vanya was innocent and didn't deserve any of this. 

But they ignored him, or well Luther did, Diego just talked over him. He wasn’t surprised by that at all. 

Surprisingly enough, they didn’t believe him about Ben either. 

Which honesty was a little weird? 

He could get why they thought he couldn’t summon dad, because well that was always hard and he really didn't want to in the first place. But why was believing that he, a person who could see and speak to the dead, could talk to his brother, who was dead, suddenly too far fetched?

Like honestly, he knew they didn’t care about him but that was going a bit too far don’t you think?

It was worth it to see the surprise on their face when he managed to summon Ben. Feeling more powerful than he had since forever. Ben was badass, as always, and saved all their lives. Then Luther and Diego and Allison all believed him, and it was kind of sad how that was what it took. 

Him literally summoning his brother in a time of crisis to save them all from the end of the world. They wouldn't take his word, his deperate pleads for soemone to trust him. But they believed that thankfully.

But the world was still ending. 

And well, Klaus didn’t care. 

He didn’t care. 

Not one bit actually, good riddance he guessed. This world had never done anything for him. It cursed him and kicked at him and threw him into spirals of drugs and substance abuse. Then it gave him a shot at happiness only to take it away in the most brutal of all ways. 

So yeah, he could understand why Vanya might want to blow it up in a flurry of moon chunks. 

And as he clutched Dave’s dog tags, he imagines Dave’s smile. Imagined his voice, promising him that they could be together forever. He saw the shine of his eyes and the crinkle of his lips. Could see the adoration and love in his eyes as they looked at each other. He remembered the warmth in his chest, the feelings of hope and the whispers of dreams about to come true.

Then he saw Dave lying there dead, warm blood staining Klaus fingers, the smile slipping off his face, the twinkle in his eyes gone. He felt the ache in his chest, the pit in his stomach that was sucking out every feeling and thought. 

Yeah, maybe he didn’t mind dying as much as he should. 

So much for saving the world he guessed. 

It didn’t deserve saving, and neither did he.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, that's all folks. I couldn't end it happy because well, I got to stick to canon I guess? I'm goign to be posting a little AU of this story later where they go to the future and it does end up happy so stayed tuned if you want to read somehting a little less depressing.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments on what you like or dislike! They make me happy.


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